- It is not always possible to control the volume of your voice: If I had a pound for every moment when someone has to tell me to lower the volume and be quiet for shouting at them accidently then as the saying continues I would be a millionaire. OK so I may be a bit loud but just tell me to quiet down and I promise not to take offence.
- You will always wait for the next life when arriving to the office in the hope that you don’t have to make small talk with your manager: “Did you have a good day?” Or conversations on the weather I find are best avoided if possible but like everyone I do have these questions up my sleeve in case we do end up in the lift together alone.
- Someone other than your mum or your best friend asks how you are: Do you find that people tend to ask how you are not because they care but because they just want to make small talk with you. Just sometimes if I have had an argument with my husband or just feeling a bit URGH I just want to be left alone.
- You have nightmares on how you are going to maintain a conversation with your hairdresser for two hours: We have all been there and trying to avoid telling the hairdresser our life story, we try and recount a night out making it sound more fabulous than it probably was.
- You avoid dashing to the bathroom when you notice the chief executive has just gone at the same time: How can you have small talk with the CEO in the bathroom without stumbling for words or getting embarrassed.
- You are introduced to someone by your friend and they immediately head to the bathroom: I often find myself either staring into space until my friend arrives back or carry out some fake texting instead of just getting it together and chatting like a normal person.
- When you want to leave a party, instead of saying good bye to everyone you just try and slip away without anyone noticing: Spending half an hour giving awkward good bye hugs to everyone can be extremely frustrating at times, but I am getting better and less of a social suicide.
- In anticipation for a big meeting at work you drink endless amount of coffee and when it comes to the meeting you forget to blink for the whole hour and a half: If this sounds like you, it may be time to switch to decaf and take small sips.
- You chat to your work colleague who sits opposite you more on email than in real person: How did we cope before the introduction of technology. There was a day when human to human banter was necessary.
- You continually check your Facebook at work and then suspiciously cover it up as soon as someone walks past: Those important social updates can maybe wait until you get home or can be done on mobile internet.